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    Don’t Ask

    Posted on April 10, 2018 I’m gonna try not to get too angry on this subject, it gets me extremely frustrated and might bring up a little bitterness I’m still dealing with…lol Why did you stay? I’m sure EVERY WOMAN getting out of an abusive relationship/marriage has heard it a million times! It’s a question that in my opinion further abuses the abused… Why did you stay? If things were so bad, why didn’t you leave? I’m just gonna say, if I knew he was hurting my children, If I knew I was worth more..if I knew there was another option, if I knew it was so wrong… IF I…

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    If I’m Honest

    Posted on April 5, 2018 If I’m honest, I can’t escape it…not all of it…not all the time… it’s too much… The aching regret, the deep disappointed, the disgust, anger, and the heavy shame…. There are days it all piles on top of me and trys to snuff me out. Somedays, it just gets me. I’m not on top of my game and one thing topples onto another… And I’m down… Spinning into a whirlwind of what ifs and you should’ves… But those days sure don’t change my present reality… It’s awful! Because I know in my mind I’m not at fault, my abuser formed my reality and shaped me…

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    My Happily Ever After

    Posted on March 29, 2018 She’s growing so fast, she’s so beautiful. She’s not the same little girl anymore, you might not even recognize her. She won’t be pushed down, she won’t be held back! It’s everything really… The simple things, like the way she does her hair or the clothes she chooses to wear… The way she dances through the house, without a care in the world. She’s like music herself, bringing hope and joy to a room… She’s flying now, she’s found her wings, each day a little higher, she’s pushing her limits, finding what she’s capable of… ANYTHING…what she was made for EVERYTHING! I won’t stop her..…

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    I Know…

    Posted on March 5, 2018 I know being afraid of the person you lie next to at night… I know the feeling that his very presence brings, and how you shrink when he’s near.. I know thinking he would rather have you dead than alive… It’s one of the sick sparkles in his eyes… I know laughing when you’re the theme of his jokes… I know blaming yourself for all his troubles… Making excuses for his brokenness…while allowing him to break your own being … I know lying to cover his lies… Protecting the person that throws you under the bus the most… I know Striving to be EVERYTHING and…

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    It’s ok… To Not Always Be Ok

    Posted on March 4, 2018 Ok… So I’m so sick of tip toeing around the truth. I’m sick if trying to make everything seem ok… And sound wonderful all the time… The truth is I lied for someone else for so long, I’m no sure I know how to communicate reality anymore… I want everything to be ok… But, everything can’t possibly always be ok… Life isn’t perfect, and our life has definitely been a bit rough… Life has simply been a rollercoaster for the last 2 years now. That’s it, reality! I feel I am finally getting to the point where I am able to start letting go of…

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    Feel…It….All

    Posted on March 1, 2018 As a child I think I had a normal amount of feelings and emotions… My parents were always very loving and affectionate…Our mother gave as much of herself as she possiblly could, home-schooling us and spending time working with us and skating… i was always very close to my her, we spent a lot of one on one time, together over the years.. we grew up being able to share and express ourselves…plus we gave and received a lot of hugs As a teen, I was probably quite a bit to deal with, like most teenagers i suppose. Since my mother and i were the…

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    Oh Woman! Let It Go!

    Posted on February 19, 2018 I found an old letter from my younger sister, Victoria. She wrote it back in April of 2016, 2 months before my children and I were thrown out of our own home and had to move into a camper on my older sister’s property. Now, something not too many people know about us 3 sisters, is that we love to write things for one another. At pretty much every life event, one or two of us will have a little something to jot on down for the other… Sometimes it’s purely to bring joy and laughter, but life does get real, so in some seasons,…

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    30 Year Old Goals

    Posted on December 13, 2017 Well… It’s pretty much like it sounds… I’m sitting alone, in my home, just hours before turning 30… Essshk! A new decade! It’s another new beginning, which is something I’m loving lately… The newness in seasons that are ever changing… Whether we’re ready or not… I’m clinging to the excitement of the unknown… Knowing no matter what my tomorrow may bring… God’s got my back, I’m strong enough, and more than able to take this life head on… Come what may So here’s to the past 30 years, building me into the woman I am now… In this season… Here’s to lessons learned… To crazy…

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    True Love… Jesus LOVE

    Posted on December 6, 2017 I’ve seen a lot of things this past year.. I’ve felt a lot of things, had my eyes opened to see things more clearly, I’ve been pushed out of my comfort zone many a times:) my heart has opened, I have hope, and joy unspeakable. I understand, in my current situation, people will come to look upon me and my little family with pitty and judgment… But, I know there’s only one opinion I need to worry about. Plus, I feel like I am anything but broken and dismayed… No, I may find myself in a not so perfect place in life at the moment……

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    Happy Birthday Sweet Jezra Girl

    Posted on November 29, 2017 Ahhh Having a child… Giving birth to a tiny human… It’s a whirlwind of emotion, isn’t it? The last time I was on that rollercoaster, was 6 years ago today! I can’t even believe it, time has flown. Sweet Jezra is truely a gift.  I think all mother’s probably have similar memories of holding your child for the first time, those first hours of their lives…. no matter the first, second, third, or twelfth, they’re each a brand new life, a new beginning. I remember holding each of my children, looking deep into they’re gorgeous eyes, feeling our spirits fully connecting through that gaze…. I…