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    You and I… We Got History…

    By Cherish Stanton Jesus and I… We got history… We go way… way back…Way back to before I was born, before I was in my mother’s womb. I once had a dream, where I was sitting with Him… we were looking down on my life… His hand was pointing out different moments and people I would be with… my mother, my father, my siblings…. He started taking me through all the days of my life… I knew that “mother” He was giving me to, would love me, almost as much as He does… And then He showed me some times that were gonna be not so good… He turned, looked…

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    Papa Harv

    Today we celebrated the life of my step grandpa, Papa Harv. He was 90 years old, so I think it’s fare to say, he’s probably experienced a full life here on earth. He lived a journey that led him through loving and losing 3 wives, having children, watching them grow, continuing on with grand children and great-grand-children. He was loved and he will be missed. While listening to the pastor today, I heard the words that were used, to sum him up as a man… He was a hard worker. He was strong at heart, took life day by day… and made the best out of it. He loved worship…

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    He Was Right…

    Posted on November 13, 2018 He was right… Everything he said… You’re disgusting… You think you could be loved…. You might as well crawl back in bed… Like he said… You’re disgusting. All the voices in your head, just give up, stop fighting, He was right! You’re disgusting! I mean, LOOK AT YOU! Don’t forget… You’re sloppy, you’re annoying, lazy and fat! You make people sick! You’re disgusting! Just give up! Just give in! Oh wait!, Then he’ll win…. That Would REALLY Be DISGUSTING

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    Make It Stop!

    Posted on October 20,2018 At night I can’t help but go there… Your hands around my neck, I get so scared. The darkness creeps in. I can’t fall asleep, so I know I’m not dreamin. It feels so real, I just can’t shake it. All those memories racing through my mind, I just can’t take it! I don’t wanna play that blame game, but ever since you, I just don’t see myself the same. I hate what I’ve seen… I hate what’s been done… Let’s face it ,it’s your fault, you’re the one! The one that tore me to pieces, the one I fought to protect in the darkest seasons.…

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    It Was Not My Fault

    Posted on October 2, 2018 I remember how it felt when he would discipline me… Looking back, I was treated like an animal by then end. Wether he was angry for a simple reason, like buying groceries, or something a little more serious, like bleeding on our bed…. No matter the severity of the issue, I was always a human being…. It was necessary to feed my children and myself…. And it was ok if what he did to my body made it bleed…. Those things are not “my fault”…. They NEVER were… NEVER will be… A long with a million other things… He so easily threw the burden on…

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    Muscles Don’t Make You Strong

    Posted on September 28, 2018 I had to hold him tonight… his eyes bursting with tears, his small body shaking. You weren’t there, in fact you were the very reason behind his ocean of emotion, you have been a lot these past 2 years… It came out of no where this evening, I was cooking in the kitchen, then I heard his sister reminding him of all his good qualities, and how much we love him.  I heard him sniffling, and explaining the reason for his breakdown.. He was remembering you throw his things in the fire that day. He was seeing his Mickey Mouse, as his eyes melted off.…

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    Don’t Ask

    Posted on April 10, 2018 I’m gonna try not to get too angry on this subject, it gets me extremely frustrated and might bring up a little bitterness I’m still dealing with…lol Why did you stay? I’m sure EVERY WOMAN getting out of an abusive relationship/marriage has heard it a million times! It’s a question that in my opinion further abuses the abused… Why did you stay? If things were so bad, why didn’t you leave? I’m just gonna say, if I knew he was hurting my children, If I knew I was worth more..if I knew there was another option, if I knew it was so wrong… IF I…

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    If I’m Honest

    Posted on April 5, 2018 If I’m honest, I can’t escape it…not all of it…not all the time… it’s too much… The aching regret, the deep disappointed, the disgust, anger, and the heavy shame…. There are days it all piles on top of me and trys to snuff me out. Somedays, it just gets me. I’m not on top of my game and one thing topples onto another… And I’m down… Spinning into a whirlwind of what ifs and you should’ves… But those days sure don’t change my present reality… It’s awful! Because I know in my mind I’m not at fault, my abuser formed my reality and shaped me…

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    My Happily Ever After

    Posted on March 29, 2018 She’s growing so fast, she’s so beautiful. She’s not the same little girl anymore, you might not even recognize her. She won’t be pushed down, she won’t be held back! It’s everything really… The simple things, like the way she does her hair or the clothes she chooses to wear… The way she dances through the house, without a care in the world. She’s like music herself, bringing hope and joy to a room… She’s flying now, she’s found her wings, each day a little higher, she’s pushing her limits, finding what she’s capable of… ANYTHING…what she was made for EVERYTHING! I won’t stop her..…

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    I Know…

    Posted on March 5, 2018 I know being afraid of the person you lie next to at night… I know the feeling that his very presence brings, and how you shrink when he’s near.. I know thinking he would rather have you dead than alive… It’s one of the sick sparkles in his eyes… I know laughing when you’re the theme of his jokes… I know blaming yourself for all his troubles… Making excuses for his brokenness…while allowing him to break your own being … I know lying to cover his lies… Protecting the person that throws you under the bus the most… I know Striving to be EVERYTHING and…