I know being afraid of the person you lie next to at night…

I know the feeling that his very presence brings, and how you shrink when he’s near..

I know thinking he would rather have you dead than alive… It’s one of the sick sparkles in his eyes…

I know laughing when you’re the theme of his jokes…

I know blaming yourself for all his troubles… Making excuses for his brokenness…while allowing him to break your own being …

I know lying to cover his lies… Protecting the person that throws you under the bus the most…

I know Striving to be EVERYTHING and EVERYONE… because then you’ll have to be enough…

I know the feeling of his unwanted touch… and knowing he just walked in from touching someone else…

I know trying to not be seen… Fighting to be overlooked…

I know the look of disgust in his eyes… And the look he gives when he lies…

I know his anger and the different ways he punishes you…

I know being a puppet, obedient and fake…

I know living a life playing pretend…

I know being used and cast aside…

I know his words cut like a knife… They shape and mold you, while ripping away every bit of confidence you once had…

I know accepting the bruises were your fault as well… Believing your not worth being handled with care…

I know starving yourself for weeks at a time… And also throwing up all you eat…

I know his gaze from across a room… Giving you instructions to shut up without a single word…

I know insecurity, and accepting your socially awkward…

I know him telling everyone you mean nothing…yet there he is… driving by your house and following you around town…

I know fear… He’s been instilling it since day 1…

I know sleepless nights and nervous laughter…

I Know panic attacks and constantly looking over my shoulder…

I know being surrounded by darkness… Without a hope in the world…

I know the power I allowed him to have…but not anymore.✌️💜

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