I’ve seen a lot of things this past year.. I’ve felt a lot of things, had my eyes opened to see things more clearly, I’ve been pushed out of my comfort zone many a times:) my heart has opened, I have hope, and joy unspeakable.

I understand, in my current situation, people will come to look upon me and my little family with pitty and judgment… But, I know there’s only one opinion I need to worry about. Plus, I feel like I am anything but broken and dismayed… No, I may find myself in a not so perfect place in life at the moment… But holy smokes! I do serve a very perfect God. A God who has taken 4 people, unconfident, shattered shells, and rescued us from awful circumstances, so awful, I believe he somehow still protected us to survive through constant mistreatment, and not just survive… But now to thrive… To learn, and to grow…

Not one of us stand as the same people we were. My children, all three, are completely different beings… No less than miricales! And I am here! I can somehow live with my head held high, Which is something I never thought I’d accomplish as a divorced woman. I figured I’d carry that as my Scarlett letter, for the rest of my days… Now what I thought would be my greatest shame, is a banner to wave high, my flag of surrender… Giving up all I defined myself by, for whatever God holds before me now, from this very place.

God has blessed us in so many uncomprehendable ways… He’s surrounded us with friends, old and new. He’s shown me their hearts, pure, beautiful, filled with love, real Jesus like love. And to each of you, you know who your are… Thank you! Thank you, from the deepest part of me, I’ll never be able to express what effect you’ve had in our lives.💜💜💜

Well, instead of looking back and concentrating on all the negatives, I should cling to something positive. And it’s incredible, I know, but I’ve found something… I have learned something great over the past 10years, I learned how to love, unconditionally… I learned to love an unlovable someone… No, I’m not in anyway saying I still love that someone, but while remaining married, I did choose daily to love him and to stay faithful to only him. So, instead of accepting how awful and foolish some might say I was, I’m choosing to own those choices and accept those years as a lesson… I’m sure over time I’ll be able to look back and learn more… but for now, I’m going to rest easy in the fact that I accomplished love, Sure I only accomplished a one-sided love… But I could only ever control my side… simple, maybe… crazy, sure… Prideful, not at all…. I’m aware that I’m a very imperfect person, I know I’ve hurt others along my way…. But, I’m just getting so excited for the life I have yet to live, I don’t see the point on focusing on all our hurt and pain… Honestly, my children and I could get stuck there for ever… But hallelujah! I’ve been blessed with 3 beautiful optimistic children 💜 And we are and will continue to choose to focus on our futures, we are not victoms any longer… We’ve been rescued and set free! So as they grow, from this day forth, I will be teaching them to walk in hope for their futures, faith in their Creator, real Jesus-like LOVE and forgiveness… I want us to open our hearts and choose to LOVE for His glory.

In a time in my life where it would be easy to write so many off, for their rude looks, whispers, upfront opinions of how they would’ve done my life better… For such a time as this, God has raised up an army of wonderful, Jesus loving people to CHOOSE to show my children and I that same unconditional love we chose to give for so long, only to receive ugliness in return. It’s truely given me a new hope in humanity as a whole. Before, I had learned to accepted everyone as self-seeking and untrustworthy… My reality was filled with such darkness, I didn’t see any light left in the world. Looking back every tiny glimmer of hope i tried to cling to, was crushed and ripped away, I wasn’t allowed to see anything or ANYONE for that matter, as wonderful, happy or loving…

So, in this, our darkest days so far…. God is so glorious, He’s so good… He himself has given me the gifts of hope where hopelessness should prevail… Joy, where only sorrow should be… And Love, true, beautiful, unconditional, amazing, Jesus filled, love… Where only the harsh judgement should be breaking through…. This I know to be true… LOVE never fails, And I believe it, true, unconditional, Jesus like LOVE… It doesn’t fail…and it never will…

So, now that I see I’m capable of it… I suppose I better spread it about😘

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