I’m gonna try not to get too angry on this subject, it gets me extremely frustrated and might bring up a little bitterness I’m still dealing with…lol
Why did you stay?
I’m sure EVERY WOMAN getting out of an abusive relationship/marriage has heard it a million times!
It’s a question that in my opinion further abuses the abused…
Why did you stay?
If things were so bad, why didn’t you leave?
I’m just gonna say, if I knew he was hurting my children, If I knew I was worth more..if I knew there was another option, if I knew it was so wrong… IF I knew it wasn’t MY FAULT, IF I KNEW THERE WAS ANY WAY OUT… I WOULDN’T HAVE STAYED!
but that’s just it, what a stupid question the world feels the need to immediately ask…
Because he made sure I couldn’t!!! He made sure I wouldn’t… He made there be NO WAY! Manipulating EVERY area of our reality… I’ve now had to come to terms with the fact that my last 10 years were a dilution… They we’re nothing but a multitude of “fake moments” that when put together made a reality for me… My life was his stage. Looking flawless himself, but piling the flaws on me.. for everyone to see… Something no one else knew, was he had another whole life behind the curtain as well…It was a master minded scheme… I was just an actress, in his play of life.
So why did I stay…
“No one cares about the sh#$ I do in my personal life!”
“You have nothing without me!”
“You’d Never make it alone!”
“Your weak, you can’t do anything for yourself, let alone the kids too!”
“There’s always one sorry, needy person in every relationship, and you need me, I’d be fine without you!”
“You’re just lucky I’m still here!”
“Your fat lazy a#$ can’t go get a job”
“You couldn’t, even if you tried.”
“I would never let you take them from me.”
“You can leave, but they won’t!”
“You’re crazy, NO ONE will EVER believe you!”
“I could never stay faithful to you!”
“It’s like you don’t get it, every time you open your mouth, I just want you to shut up, it’s embarrassing really!”
“You make everyone uncomfortable!”
“You are so awkward!”
Literally, every word is stated to keep you stuck. Every movement, rather it be harsh, or loving, it’s all a manipulation, to keep you staying… Because if you leave, it’s their lives that fall apart…
I wish EVERYONE could understand, asking the question “why did she stay?” Is the wrong question to be asking… The correct questions would be, “why have we come to a point in time where so many men treat women this way?!?!?” “Why are these men so sad and broken they have to break others?’ ‘Why aren’t we raising more gentleman, that respect women???”
Anyway, the next time you hear of a woman escaping the grips of an abusive relationship, in which you weren’t aware of the severity…and the question, “why did she stay?” pops in your mind… Please….don’t ask✌️💜